Finding His Father
by FabulousElvenWarrior
Summary: For so long, Castiel slaved to find God - his father. After coming away from his mission fruitless, he is lost and confused. Nothing seems right anymore and everything hurts, but then a certain hunter with stunning green eyes makes everything right again...


The wind howled wildly in the dark night as rain poured down in buckets. Lightening flashed shining white teeth at the booming of the thunder. Nothing could be heard over the storm, people could only cower in their homes and watch as the wind tore up gardens and trees, and the rain flooded everything.

Amongst all the turmoil, on the cliff face of Angmar sat a lone figure; a young Angel. His hair was tousled and coal black, and he wore a long, dirty tan trench coat. Although the darkness was thick and enveloping, his cobalt blue eyes seemed to shine brightly and his very body glowed with power and grace.

Despite his beautiful appearance, sadness was shown in the Angel's stunning eyes and he sighed heavily as he let himself get lost in the raging storm around him. He heard a scream and looked up from his lap to the town below the cliff and felt a pang of guilt as he watched a little boy get crushed by a falling tree and his father was unable to save him.

'My father wasn't there for me when I needed him most either,' he thought to himself, and the feeling of slight regret passed instantly.

There was a flash of light behind him and it wasn't from any lightening. Instantly, the warmth and familiarity of another angel's grace filled his entire being but he froze. Silently he drew his angel blade and waited for the intruder of his brooding make a move.

"Tut, tut, tut. Oh, Cassie. Is causing a raging, destructive storm really fair for these poor, pathetic humans? Just because you can't find Daddy doesn't mean you can alter the climate of the earth and create a freak winter storm in the middle of December," a husky, British accented voice purred from behind the Angel.

Suddenly the wind died down and the lightening stopped, and gradually the thunder became more and more distant. The clouds ceased their crying and as they rolled away, sunlight streaked through and lit up the now torn up town below the two Angels.

"Balthazar. What are you doing here?" Castiel growled, sheathing his angel blade and getting up to face his brother.

"Me and Gabe were kinda worried 'bout cha. Just here to tell you no more freak storms, and perhaps you should get back to Dean, he misses you," Balthazar scratched his chin and grinned painfully at Cas, then with a flutter of his wings he flew back to heaven.

Castiel sighed again in agony and turned back to the cliff, looking down. Closing his eyes, he began to unfurl his incredible, ebony wings. His feathers slid across each other like silk and he moaned gently in pleasure and satisfaction when his wings reached their entire span. Tensing up, he cracked his eyes open and tipped forward off the cliff. As he fell he let his grace seep out of his wings to create a blinding aura around himself, and he smiled gently as he felt the wind through his feathers. Just before he reached the ground he pulled up with his wings and started gliding across a lake at the bottom of the cliff.

With mighty flaps of his strong wings he started climbing higher and higher into the now clear night sky and he twirled around mid-flight. When he had nearly reached space, he stopped and looked back down at the beautiful world.

Castiel's heart ached. He had no idea why it hurt so much, and he didn't like the pain. He wanted it to be gone. His father was nowhere to be found and it was at that moment when Castiel needed him most. Would it have been so hard for God to appear to Cas or even just let the angel find him? From being alive for so many millennia, Castiel had seen the love of a father for his son and he craved that love from his father. But God was nowhere to be seen and it didn't look like he even wanted to be found.

Castiel looked down to earth and started flying back towards it. Eventually he stopped flying and just let himself fall… He fell slowly at first then picked up impossible speeds as he continued getting closer and closer to the ground. The feeling his vessel got through the experience of falling so much was interesting and somewhat enjoyable to Castiel.

Suddenly he remembered Dean. His perfect, fragile little human who was probably somewhere hunting something and nearly getting himself killed as per usual. For a moment as he fell, Cas analysed an image of Dean in his head. His striking green eyes seemed to burn completely through the angel, and damn his body was perfect. But what was the most beautiful thing of all was the little hunter's soul. Castiel had seen a great many souls in his existence, but none of them ever shone as bright as Dean's. He was an enigma; a man who had seen much pain in his life but who was extremely loyal and protective of those he loved – he would give his life for those he cared for in the blink of an eye, and Castiel respected and admired that most about Dean.

Castiel suddenly found himself much closer to the ground and he instantly slowed down and came to a soft landing. He shook his wings and his feathers rustled as he began to fold them back gently.

A soft, thick drop of water hit Castiel's arm. Puzzled, he looked up to the sky but it was sunny and bright, so why did a raindrop fall on him? He looked back down and another one fell and realization dawned on his face as he raised a hand to his face. His cheeks were wet and a sob racked his body as he realized not only was he crying, but his father had completely abandoned him. An angel shouldn't be capable of shedding tears so why was he?... But then again, they had all always said he was too attached to the humans, that he felt too much. He usually enjoyed feeling what a human feels; love, happiness, contentment. But this? Pain? He didn't want it.

Castiel fell to his knees and curled up on the ground crying uncontrollably, and his wings burst forward nearly painfully at his outburst of emotion. He cried that his father didn't love him enough to see him, he cried that he felt so much pain, and a small part of him cried because he never thought Dean would love him as he loved the hunter.

The beautiful but broken angel was crying so much that he didn't hear a door open, and slow steps coming towards him. He did, however, hear the voice of his best friend, his everything, speaking to him.

"Cas?... Are you okay man?" Dean said gently as he approached his angel.

"Dean!" Castiel cried brokenly. "Dean, it hurts.. My father, he isn't here.. I can't find him! He has abandoned me… Dean! Dean this hurts so much and I can't get away from it! Please help me…"

Dean's heart broke as he looked down at his best friend and saw his distress and felt his pain. He dropped down beside Castiel and pulled the little angel onto his lap and held him close. Cas grabbed the front of Dean's jacket and sobbed into his shirt. Dean just sighed with pain at seeing his friend like this, and he rubbed small soothing circles into Cas's back and kissed his forehead gently.

Castiel froze when he felt Dean's soft lips on his forehead, and he pulled away sharply still sobbing and shaking from crying. He looked up at Dean with glassy and bloodshot, but still incredibly gorgeous blue eyes and emotions of pure love and protectiveness flowed between them through their eyes. Castiel hiccupped gently and Dean gently brushed his tears away and kissed forehead again, then pecked his nose gently and waited for Castiel to react.

All Cas could think about was Dean. All thoughts of his father were supressed for then, and his pain was slowly fading and being replaced with nervousness. A tear rolled down Dean's cheek as he looked at his broken little angel, and he knew exactly what Cas was feeling due to John constantly abandoning him and Sammy. He would give anything to have taken that pain away from the incredible being in his arms.

Suddenly, Cas leaned forward without a warning and pressed his lips tentatively against Dean's. Dean froze, and Castiel freaked out thinking he had done something wrong and went to pull away but then felt Dean's warm, calloused hands on his cheeks and he kissed back gently. From the intensity of Castiel's love for Dean, his grace flowed into the kiss and slowly merged into Dean's soul. Heat and energy shocked through Dean and he pulled away, his green eyes flashing as grace swirled through them. He looked back and yelped suddenly as he saw two magnificent, black wings looming over himself and Cas, then realized that they were the angel's wings.

"Cas… They're beautiful…" Dean whispered with awe.

Castiel blushed softly and looked away from Dean. "Thank you, my hunter."

Dean looked back into Castiel's eyes and put his hands on the angel's shoulders, steadying him. "Cas… I know how much you want to find your father, and I know its killing you that you can't find him.. But I just want you to know that… well.. I love you… And I really care about you… So no matter what, I will be by your side for as long as I can be, and I will help you find your father if it really means that much to you. And if it fails, then I'll be here for you to fall back on, and I won't let you down… Okay?"

Cas smiled gently and nodded, and grasped Dean's hands slowly. "I love you too, Dean."

Dean grinned, then shook his head and pull himself and Castiel up. "Okay, enough chick flick moments. What do ya say we go get some pie?"

"That sounds perfect, Dean," Cas chuckled, wiping his face clean from any remaining tears. He took Dean's hand and they started walking towards the Impala to go get pie, but they were doing more than that.

They were walking into a new life. They had started something incredible that couldn't be stopped, and the love that they now shared was endless and inspiring. The mission of finding his father no longer seemed so important and urgent to Cas – Dean Winchester was now his to have and to hold, in life, and even after death took him.


End file.
